Jill Stowell: One of my favorite Christmas songs says, “All is calm. All is bright.” I don't think "calm" ever described my home during the holidays when my kids were growing up. There was just too much bustle and too many exciting things happening.
For kids who thrive on structure, the changes in routine, all the extra noise, and the new faces during the holidays can lead to overwhelm and dysregulation. Today, I'm going to share some tips to help kids stay calm so everyone can more comfortably enjoy the holidays.
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Seven Regulation Tips for the Holidays
- Keep a Predictable Routine
Stick to familiar wake-up times, meals, and bedtime routines, even if the rest of the day is more flexible. The brain thrives on routine because it creates a sense of predictability and structure, which helps both the brain and person feel secure.When the brain knows what to expect, it doesn’t have to work so hard to process new information or adapt to changes. This predictability reduces stress hormones like cortisol, allowing the brain to focus without being in a constant state of alertness.Routines also help reduce anxiety, especially for those who struggle with uncertainty or change. This is particularly important for neurodivergent individuals, such as children with ADHD or autism, who may find sudden changes overwhelming. Routines offer a sense of control and security, which can improve emotional regulation.
And moms, routines help you too! Keeping some of your own routines in place can support your sleep and reduce decision fatigue and mental exhaustion.
- Use Visual Schedules
For children who benefit from structure, create a visual schedule to show them what to expect during the holiday season. Include activities like family visits, holiday meals, special programs, or outings. Seeing the schedule can help them feel more in control and reduce anxiety and dysregulation.
- Prepare for Visitors
Having a house full of guests can be stressful for some kids. If you're expecting visitors, talk to your child in advance about who will be coming and what to expectYou might even create a “safe zone” where your child can go when they need a break from the excitement. Practice using this safe zone for a few days in advance, and use language like “safe zone” or whatever your child prefers. Giving them an exit strategy can prevent meltdowns and help them regulate their emotions.
- Use Movement for Regulation
Children often get extra excited during the holidays, and that energy needs an outlet. Build in opportunities for physical movement throughout the day, whether it’s dancing to holiday music, taking a walk, or playing an active game. Physical activity helps release pent-up energy and can improve self-regulation.
- Monitor Sugar Intake
Holiday treats are fun, but too much sugar can lead to hyperactivity and crashes. Try to balance sweets with healthy snacks to help keep energy levels and moods steady.
- Model Calm Behavior
Children often mirror the emotions of the adults around them. Consciously try to remain calm and regulated yourself, even during stressful moments. Use deep breathing or calming techniques and model these behaviors for your child. When they see you handling stress calmly, they’re more likely to do the same.
- Focus on Connection Over Perfection
Remember that the holidays don’t have to be perfect. We often have a picture in our minds of how special we want everything to be, but it rarely turns out exactly as planned.
If your child becomes dysregulated during the holidays, it’s okay to step back and regroup. Focus on spending quality time together and creating positive, low-pressure experiences. Whether it’s a quiet evening reading holiday stories or a family game night, prioritize activities that help everyone feel connected and calm.
Do you have a favorite strategy for managing and enjoying the holidays with your neurodivergent child? We'd love for you to share your tips with other parents in the comments.
At Stowell Learning Centers, we help children and adults eliminate struggles associated with dyslexia and learning differences. We’re here to make this journey easier for you. Connect with us on social media or visit our website, StowellCenter.com, for free resources and information.
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