Episode 80: Rediscover Joy: Parenting Beyond the Struggle – Cherie Francis-Boegeman

LD Expert Podcast with Jill Stowell
Rediscover Joy: Parenting Beyond the Struggle
Cherie Francis-Boegeman

Jill Stowell: Have you ever looked at your child and thought, “I love them so much, but I don’t always get to enjoy them”? When your days are filled with therapy, appointments, structure, and managing meltdowns, the joy of simply being with your child can get lost in the shuffle. Today’s conversation is all about bringing the joy back into your relationship with your child—not by adding more to your plate, but by understanding what’s really going on beneath the behaviors and creating space for connection, calm, and delight again.

Welcome to the LD Expert Podcast, your place for answers and solutions for dyslexia and learning differences. I'm your host, Jill Stowell, founder and executive director of Stowell Learning Centers and author of Take the Stone Out of the Shoe: A Must-Have Guide to Understanding, Supporting, and Correcting Dyslexia, Learning and Attention Challenges.

So let's be honest: parenting a child with learning, attention, or sensory processing challenges can be one of the most meaningful journeys you'll ever take—and also one of the most exhausting. Do you ever feel like your entire life is a checklist of appointments and meltdowns and battles over homework? Today, we're having a conversation that I believe every parent of a neurodiverse child will want to hear—how to move beyond managing the chaos and actually rediscover joy.

My guest today is Cherie Francis-Boegeman. Cherie has been an occupational therapist for over 30 years. She has specialized in pediatrics for the last 15 years, with a transition from being rehabilitation manager at Children’s Hospital of Orange County, California to owning her own clinic. Lifelong friends from Cherie’s own early school days have said, “I can’t believe you found a job where you get paid to play.” Cherie and I are very aligned in our belief that behavior is communication, and that when we take the time to really understand what’s going on beneath the surface, it opens the door to healing, connection, and change.

Welcome, Cherie!

Cherie Francis-Boegeman:
It's good to see you, Jill.

Jill Stowell:
You too. It's so great to have you, and I'm really excited about this conversation. So let's just start by having you tell us a little bit about The LaunchPad Therapy for Kids and what you've learned over all these years walking alongside so many kids and families.

Cherie Francis-Boegeman: Yes. Thanks for asking. The LaunchPad Therapy for Kids started actually 18 years ago. I was previously a manager at Children's Hospital of Orange County, and we realized that the need there was more for the more critically critical kids—those kids that were failure to thrive. The sensory integrative kids were pretty healthy, actually, and so we needed to make space. They were being put on the waiting list while the more prioritized kids were being put to the front, understandably so.

I knew that this was my love, and probably from my early childhood, because I am one of these kids. My mother was a teacher, and she had tremendous grace for me. I remember as a child being invited over to homes and then getting in trouble and sent home. I remember crying as my mother was folding laundry. She would always comfort me. But the one house that always loved having me was one where they had a child whose siblings were older, in their 20s, so she really didn't have a playmate—and I kept her very entertained.

I was a big seeker. I wanted to move and was very rambunctious. I have a vivid childhood memory of swinging on their window dressings and the entire thing crashing. We were playing Tarzan. I should’ve learned from that, but they embraced me and even took me on vacations. They had a lot of grace. So I understand these kids. I know that the intention isn't to misbehave—it’s like they’re putting the brakes on life.

After Children’s Hospital, I pursued my certification in sensory integration and worked briefly at a private clinic, letting them know I wanted to open my own clinic. I had a fabulous teacher in college who was trained in sensory integration, and at this point in my career, my management experience met up with my pediatric experience. I always had a vision of owning my own clinic—and here we are at Therapy for Kids.

Jill Stowell: You know, I feel like your story probably really resonates with so many parents—whose kids are rambunctious and do things like swing on the curtains and not realize it's going to be a problem. Parents, if that sparked anything for you, we’d love for you to leave a comment and let us know one thing about your child that surprised you or made you start to look at things differently.

A lot of what we’re going to talk about today will really resonate with you, and sharing your experiences helps other parents like you who are on the same kind of journey. I love how you talked about this group of sensory integrative kids who, in a hospital setting, just weren’t severe enough. So they seemed like they were pretty okay—and they didn’t get the help that they also needed. That was kind of my experience with learning disabilities.

I was a learning disability specialist in the schools. It’s interesting because kids with sensory integration issues are typical kids—they're smart, creative, fun—and yet they have some underlying issues that are getting in their way. But they're not “that bad,” you know? And so they get overlooked. They get thought of as doing it intentionally, not trying hard enough, or being a behavior problem. And that’s just not the issue at all.

Cherie Francis-Boegeman: You know, it's interesting, Jill. Jean Ayres, 40 years ago, wrote a book called Sensory Integration and Learning Disabilities. Her work actually started with kids that had learning disabilities. She understood that the sensory systems weren't integrated at the midbrain level. And I recently reread a book by Angela Hanscom, a colleague who wrote Balanced and Barefoot. Are you familiar with that?

Jill Stowell: Yes! Love it.

Cherie Francis-Boegeman: She was an occupational therapist in the schools and wanted to figure out an income over the summer. So she decided to do science camps and cleared this outdoor area for them. She had to overcome barriers—like tics being a problem in New York—but eventually, she got it cleared.

Kids would come and ask her science questions. She wasn’t sure how to answer, but she realized they were just playing—coming up with their own social rules, overcoming barriers, getting rich sensory experiences from swinging, building forts, and climbing trees. She got parents on board and eventually created a camp. Now people come from all over the world to train with her to open similar outdoor spaces.

I think the thing that stood out to me was how natural it was. I’m an occupational therapist—we look at people’s occupations. For children, one of their biggest occupations is play. Play has changed a lot over the years, and we can talk about that. But Balanced and Barefoot talks about why sensory integration is so important for learning.

Take handwriting—it’s not just about forming letters. You need core strength, posture, proximal stability. If you lean down to pick up a pencil and fall out of your chair, writing becomes much harder. You also need visual processing and coordination between the two hemispheres of the brain. All of those things occur naturally through play.

That’s what I want to bring to families—therapeutic benefits of play. We're not making a therapist out of you, but here are some ideas to bring joy back and really understand your child.

Jill Stowell: Absolutely. And you said that how play looks today has really changed. That’s so true, because there's so much in the digital space that is entertaining and educational and very engaging—but it uses a very confined space and fine muscle movements. Without that solid base of big movement underneath, you're really going to run into challenges.

You’ve been using the term “sensory integration,” and I know we’ve talked about sensory processing together. Can you help our listeners understand what sensory processing is? Because it has such a huge impact on behavior, learning, and emotional regulation—and I think it’s something most of us take for granted.

Cherie Francis-Boegeman: Sure. Sensory processing is how we perceive our environment. We use our five senses—vision, taste, smell, hearing, and touch—but we also have others like interoception. That’s how we know we’re hungry or need to go to the bathroom.

We also have proprioception, our joint sense—that’s how we know where our body is in space without looking. And probably the most important is the vestibular system—our sense of movement and relationship to gravity. It helps maintain alertness, impacts vision, posture, and even balance. You can’t separate it from the other sensory systems.

I once attended a conference where the aerospace industry talked about vestibular input. The presenter gave an example—if the car next to you moves at a stoplight, you feel like you’re moving and slam the brakes. That’s how connected our visual and vestibular systems are.

The vestibular system also affects how we understand time, distance, speed, and space—all foundational for learning. Think of the brain like a computer constantly collecting data. If one system is off, the data points are off. That affects writing, spatial awareness, balance.

It’s also linked to the auditory system. The receptors for both are in the inner ear. Gene Ayres found that improving vestibular integration improved auditory processing—and vice versa.

Jill Stowell: That is so fascinating. And I think if parents and teachers had a bigger picture of what’s happening underneath all the academic learning we expect—like sitting still, managing materials, handwriting—it would change how we see kids.

Even something like bladder control—you have to feel that signal. So many kids get into trouble for accidents, or for falling out of chairs, or getting up and dancing around or humming. Yes, those things are disruptive, but behavior is never just behavior. It’s a signal that something deeper is going on.

If we first recognize that some kids are struggling because of lagging skills—not defiance—it changes how we approach them. And it also reminds us that kids need to play and move. They’re not falling behind just because they’re not getting more screen learning. They need to move their bodies to develop the foundation for reading, writing, and learning.

Cherie Francis-Boegeman: Exactly. I lived through COVID as an occupational therapist working in a school district. Suddenly, we were online, and I had to figure out how to do occupational therapy virtually. We hadn’t done that before. So we got creative—doing webinars, asking kids to take the camera around the house so we could see what materials they had and build obstacle courses from everyday items.

What we learned was that the virtual world is very limited. It’s two-dimensional. You go outside and play, and it’s three-dimensional—you hear birds, feel textures, move through space, coordinate vision with movement. That full-color, sensory-rich experience just doesn’t happen on a screen.

For some kids, the simplicity of the virtual world was calming—it cut out distractions. But for many, the lack of movement and sensory input made it much harder to stay engaged.

Jill Stowell: So what kinds of shifts have you seen in children and families once those underlying issues—like retained reflexes or sensory processing challenges—start to resolve?

Cherie Francis-Boegeman: The biggest shift is that a child’s sense of well-being is restored. And that opens everything up—confidence, emotional regulation, impulse control, frustration tolerance. We’ve had families come back from vacations and say, “It was glorious. No meltdowns. Our child was happy.”

Another parent said, “We can go to a restaurant now. Our child doesn’t run from the table. We can actually engage and enjoy the time.” When the sensory systems regulate, kids feel good about themselves—and that changes everything.

Anxiety often stems from vestibular issues—like going downstairs or escalators. Public restrooms can be overwhelming due to auditory sensitivity. Kids might not be able to articulate it, especially when they’re in fight-or-flight.

Then there’s praxis—the ability to come up with an idea, make a plan, execute, and adjust. That’s huge in social situations, play, and academics. We’ve seen kids improve their ability to regulate emotions and problem-solve more independently.

Jill Stowell: That ripple effect is real. I remember a 12-year-old with dyslexia and auditory processing challenges. A few months into his program, his mom said, “Everyone in the family is getting along better. We speak to each other differently now.” That’s the power of strengthening root skills—when the child feels better, the whole family feels better.

Cherie Francis-Boegeman: Exactly. And about three-dimensional space—video games may look 3D, but they’re not engaging the body the same way. Going downstairs in real life uses your muscles, posture, vision, balance, spatial awareness. When those aren’t working automatically, kids use extra cognitive effort just to function. That robs them of the energy needed for new learning.

Cherie Francis-Boegeman: Another thing—when kids play, endorphins are released. That helps myelinate the nervous system and strengthen pathways. But when kids are stressed, cortisol floods the system and impairs that process. So play isn’t just fun—it’s biologically essential.

We also look at something called constructional praxis. That’s the ability to take in two-dimensional information and translate it into a three-dimensional activity, like drawing or building something. In school, kids who struggle with this often have trouble writing organized paragraphs or essays. They can’t easily see the big picture and break it into meaningful parts. AI might be removing the need to grapple with that, but it’s through grappling that we learn. And we learn through our bodies first.

If a child can’t feel their own body accurately, they can’t take another person’s perspective well either. It all starts with sensory experience.

Jill Stowell: I love how you explain that. It really paints a picture of how these high-level skills like perspective-taking and time management actually begin with movement. And it’s never too late. There’s benefit in movement for everyone—kids, teens, and adults. Even as grownups, we can learn and grow through three-dimensional experiences.

So, Cherie, we promised we’d give parents some practical ideas—how can they return to joy?

Cherie Francis-Boegeman: First, let’s acknowledge—we all have stress, especially after COVID. Parents of neurodivergent kids often carry even more. I didn’t realize when my daughter was young that she was hypersensitive to touch and visual input. The grocery store was overwhelming. She’d melt down, and I’d have to abandon the cart and take her outside. Later, it all made sense.

One mom recently told me her son asked her to dry her hands before fixing his toy. She didn’t, and when he got water on his shirt, he had a meltdown. Now that she understands his sensory needs, she sees all those moments differently.

Play is the antidote. But true play has specific qualities: it’s voluntary, joyful, child-directed, free from time and performance pressure. It allows room for things to go sideways. I once had a water play session turn into an ice skating game, then a clean-up game. That’s play. That’s joy.

Jill Stowell: And that takes the pressure off parents. In the summer, especially, we feel like we need to plan everything. But sometimes, just giving kids the space to play—with no agenda—is the most powerful thing we can do.

Cherie Francis-Boegeman: Exactly. And some kids might need help getting into play because of praxis challenges, but they’ll get there. Just head to the park—let them explore. Risk-taking, climbing, pushing boundaries—it’s how they learn strength, balance, space, and self-regulation.

Jill Stowell: So, for a parent who’s listening and feels like every day is a battle, what’s one thing they could try this week to ease the pressure?

Cherie Francis-Boegeman: The golden ticket is regulation—your own regulation. Collaborative Problem Solving emphasizes starting with your own state. If you’re dysregulated, you won’t have capacity for your child. Take care of yourself. Schedule time for something that brings you life—even if it’s two hours walking the beach or wandering through a paint department at Home Depot. When you’re well-regulated, you can show up with curiosity and joy. And kids feel that. They know if you’re faking it. Authentic joy is healing.

Jill Stowell: That’s such a powerful reminder. And it’s true—even five minutes can change your energy. Parents, if there’s something you do to take care of yourself, please share it in the comments. We’d love to hear what helps you.

Summer is a great opportunity for a reset. What support or programs are you offering through The LaunchPad?

Cherie Francis-Boegeman: We offer small summer classes—like fine motor skill-building, handwriting, ninja obstacle courses, and more. It’s like a pass system—the more classes you purchase, the better the rate. Classes are kept small—just two kids per session with a therapist or trained staff—so we can tailor them to the children’s needs. It’s all about combining fun with developmental support.

Jill Stowell: We’ll include links to The LaunchPad in the show notes. And as we approach the new school year, any low-pressure routines to help families ease back in?

Cherie Francis-Boegeman: Absolutely. Some kids thrive on structure. So during summer, keep a simple daily rhythm if they need it. As school approaches, front-load kids with what to expect—visit the campus, get excited about school supplies, ease them in. And once school starts, build in decompression time. Maybe stop at a park after school. Give grace. Recognize that adjusting to school—friends, routines, new teachers—is a big demand.

Jill Stowell: Everything you’ve shared applies to all kids, honestly. Neurodiverse or not, every child benefits from structure, grace, and regulation. So as we wrap up—if you could leave parents with one final encouragement, what would it be?

Cherie Francis-Boegeman: There are a lot of voices telling you how to parent. But God gave your kids to you. He picked you for your child. You are equipped. Trust your instincts.

Jill Stowell: Thank you so much, Cherie. Thank you for being here, and for the powerful work you’re doing. I’m so glad our paths have crossed.

Cherie Francis-Boegeman: Me too. I think we’re kindred spirits, and I look forward to growing together.

Jill Stowell: If you’d like to connect with Cherie, you can go to LaunchpadOT.com or find her on Instagram and Facebook. Links are in the show notes.

The challenges associated with dyslexia or other learning disabilities can actually be dramatically improved when we stop using Band-Aid approaches and start strengthening the underlying skills that are missing or lagging. Contrary to popular belief, your child doesn’t have to “just live with it” for the rest of their life. Every day doesn’t have to be a battle.

We are on a mission to help as many people as possible. If this episode resonated with you, please help spread the word by liking, subscribing, or sharing this or any of our LD Expert Podcast episodes. Let’s change the narrative for struggling students—together.